Gratitude: Even in the Wake of Darkness

"Gratitude turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity...it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." Melody Beattie

As we approach the cherished and beloved American tradition of Thanksgiving, while simultaneously in the midst of a world tainted with war, devastation, and tragedy, I have been thinking a lot about both grief and gratitude.

During and after the terrifying events that occurred in Paris last Friday, November 13, 2015, I found myself experiencing an overwhelming wave of emotion. Although I was not personally or directly affected by these acts of terror, I have been following the stories and reports and wanting to educate myself more on world politics and news. That day and the days that have followed I found myself experiencing a mix of anger, fear, sadness, hopelessness...helpless determination to make it all stop. I caught myself trying to shake off fearful vigilance of my surroundings, thoughts about how nobody is ever really safe in this world...how our world is doomed and how life is so frail and fleeting.

I know I am not alone in the emotional after-effects of such a tragic and threatening travesty. As the week has gone on, I have been working hard to stay on top of the news, while not letting the constant "depressing" stories take over my entire emotional state. I have been surrounding myself with family and friends, continuing to devote myself to my work and passions, and focusing not only on the darkness of the world, but also on the beauty and the hope that still remains.

Yesterday I was preparing for a Thanksgiving activity to do with a therapy group I am running with middle school students, and I came across an old art project from a therapy session with a client who was struggling with feelings of parental rejection and abandonment. We traced a turkey with the outline of her hand, and she was free to decorate it as she pleased. The prompt was simply "I am grateful for..."

Although I can't share a photo of her art, I can tell you that she decorated her "gratitude turkey" with all sorts of colorful feathers, and fervently wrote a random collection of words and phrases around it. She had no difficulty coming up with at-least 20 blessings that she is thankful for (and they were all non-material things). One of the words on there is hope.

My clients teach me every day.

So, with Thanksgiving and the season of joy upon us, my hope is that we don't lose sight of what what life is all about...that we continue to remain aware of harsh realities and to fight for justice and peace, but also continue to live, give love, and give thanks for the good.

*For a hopeful article by world renowned author and traveler Rick Steves, who offers an enlightening perspective on the terror resulting from the Paris attacks, click here.

Emotional Self-Care: Bridging the Gap Between Physical Health and Mental Health

Throughout my education, training, and personal and professional experience in the mental health field thus far, something has become very apparent to me: there remains to be a significant gap between the value of physical and psychological health. We live in a society where billions of dollars are spent each year on things like changes in health care, new ways to improve physical appearance, anti-aging techniques, and extreme weight-loss diet and exercise regimens...but psychological self-care is often de-prioritized and overlooked, maybe even labeled as "hokey psyco-babble". This is an important subject that I hope to research and explore further in my personal life and my career as a mental health clinician. 

Let me clarify that I am certainly not de-emphasizing the importance of physical health - I consider medical and biological history in every case in my practice. However, I do strongly believe that our minds and our bodies are innately interconnected, constantly influencing one-another and contributing together to overall quality of life.

Guy Winch, Psychologist and author, presented an excellent TedTalks on this issue, discussing the incredible benefits of addressing our psychological pains, in order to not only heal from them, but also build "emotional resilience and thrive". Guy outlines some common ailments of the heart and mind which are so often trivialized, but in fact often contribute to health issues. With his perspective on the human nature of mental and emotional challenges, such as loneliness, failure, rejection, shame, and negative thinking, he encourages us to look inward, take action, learn new responses, and treat the psychological pain caused by these wounds.     *See Guy Winch's bio and full TedTalks video below*

***If you get nothing else from this, please take this one reminder: treat yourself with the same compassion and kindness that you would expect from a caring parent, a very good friend, or a nurturing doctor.

There are many ways to engage in emotional self-care...personal therapy being one of them. If you are interested in looking into therapy, I encourage you to contact me to discuss options for therapeutic services.